Today I'm tired after back home but I wanted to blog and reminded myself for the mistakes I done. There's no U-turn for what have been done, but guilt was there! Regret is useless but guilt cannot be erased and without delete button. On the way back home after fetching dear and others, many things you will think about when you're alone especially those radio station didnt have any nice songs broadcasting.
First mistake: Gambled at dear's house and won quite a lot during early game as a banker and cant leave table. Anyhow I leaved dear house with winning RM5 afterall. The whole afternoon about 3 hours I was playing whereas dear went sang k, facebook and watched the funny show that time. She so sien but I also din accompanied her, dam hate myself for this. For me who are winning, I shouldn't leave table until certain limit because that is no respectful to others when you win all their money and left. However I also got take a break chat a bit with dear that time.
Second mistake: At dear house, gambled in front of aunty for 3 hours, I let my dear's youngest sister, still at secondary school played blackjack together with us but loses I din count her but I gave her her winning as a CNY bonus angpao xD. At the same time I abandoned dear in front of her mother too. =.="
Third mistake: During meal I got no close seats to sit with dear but its okay, but when i walked with her I also din hold her hand T.T *If you guys want to know why, my reason because her sister was there and I dont dare*
Forth mistake: At friend house again I be the banker, gambled until very stress because all people want me lose and I did lose 10+ rounds straight when they keep asking another friend to cut the cards, made me keep losing because they getting blackjack,20 and 21. Meanwhile aunty joined halfway and playing, as a 小辈 I think I should not win too many because aunty is the owner of the house whereas we as visitor but lastly I also lose alot to aunty and cannot win back. But 10+ rounds I keep losing all moneys on table(RM18-20) and need to pay from wallet and aunty also keep winning, this made me abit 烦 and started to sweat because hard to concentrate and if not mistaken I think my facial expression quite stressful and showing not good expression and aunty just sat beside me saw everything.
The part is that, after losing then straight leave table I think not respectful because got the feeling you dont dare to lose but just want to win, so I continue playing and lastly lose about RM15 which i think already quite a number then I quit banker, play as normal player and won back RM14 after that. Again that time, I abandoned dear but got chat abit with her when i gave myself a small break. haiz.
Fifth mistake: I cannot fetch dear and her sister back home when their parent want them back because I duno how to get out from jeff housing area and went wrong junction after paying the toll which delay the time more. She stared the time once, i stared my watch twice. I more nervous and panic than she did because scare later missed junction and wrong road again will delay more. I was tired and quite stressful because I dont want dear get scolded and also any bad impression that im not responsible.
Blame on that Im fuzzy and easy get panic which made everything went hazzy. Some said that I think too much, but I really care a lot about 人情世故 because it really exist, 要懂得做人 and perhaps I think Im little over concern and I agreed that but all this just crossed my mind and so many things to think about @_@
I felt sorry for abandon my dear although is CNY gambling. Overall today is a great day, sort like small gathering and I am happy for that. Lastly Im not emoing and you guys no need to worry xD
What done is done, now just extract and learn from it.
Signing off and hope that all this will not leave bad impression to the elderly today.
First mistake: Gambled at dear's house and won quite a lot during early game as a banker and cant leave table. Anyhow I leaved dear house with winning RM5 afterall. The whole afternoon about 3 hours I was playing whereas dear went sang k, facebook and watched the funny show that time. She so sien but I also din accompanied her, dam hate myself for this. For me who are winning, I shouldn't leave table until certain limit because that is no respectful to others when you win all their money and left. However I also got take a break chat a bit with dear that time.
Second mistake: At dear house, gambled in front of aunty for 3 hours, I let my dear's youngest sister, still at secondary school played blackjack together with us but loses I din count her but I gave her her winning as a CNY bonus angpao xD. At the same time I abandoned dear in front of her mother too. =.="
Third mistake: During meal I got no close seats to sit with dear but its okay, but when i walked with her I also din hold her hand T.T *If you guys want to know why, my reason because her sister was there and I dont dare*
Forth mistake: At friend house again I be the banker, gambled until very stress because all people want me lose and I did lose 10+ rounds straight when they keep asking another friend to cut the cards, made me keep losing because they getting blackjack,20 and 21. Meanwhile aunty joined halfway and playing, as a 小辈 I think I should not win too many because aunty is the owner of the house whereas we as visitor but lastly I also lose alot to aunty and cannot win back. But 10+ rounds I keep losing all moneys on table(RM18-20) and need to pay from wallet and aunty also keep winning, this made me abit 烦 and started to sweat because hard to concentrate and if not mistaken I think my facial expression quite stressful and showing not good expression and aunty just sat beside me saw everything.
The part is that, after losing then straight leave table I think not respectful because got the feeling you dont dare to lose but just want to win, so I continue playing and lastly lose about RM15 which i think already quite a number then I quit banker, play as normal player and won back RM14 after that. Again that time, I abandoned dear but got chat abit with her when i gave myself a small break. haiz.
Fifth mistake: I cannot fetch dear and her sister back home when their parent want them back because I duno how to get out from jeff housing area and went wrong junction after paying the toll which delay the time more. She stared the time once, i stared my watch twice. I more nervous and panic than she did because scare later missed junction and wrong road again will delay more. I was tired and quite stressful because I dont want dear get scolded and also any bad impression that im not responsible.
Blame on that Im fuzzy and easy get panic which made everything went hazzy. Some said that I think too much, but I really care a lot about 人情世故 because it really exist, 要懂得做人 and perhaps I think Im little over concern and I agreed that but all this just crossed my mind and so many things to think about @_@
I felt sorry for abandon my dear although is CNY gambling. Overall today is a great day, sort like small gathering and I am happy for that. Lastly Im not emoing and you guys no need to worry xD
What done is done, now just extract and learn from it.
Signing off and hope that all this will not leave bad impression to the elderly today.
